EP.36: A New Home and Fresh Hope

Imagine finding a hidden gem—a 50-acre sanctuary that promises tranquility and safety for a child with severe autism. That's exactly the unexpected joy we stumbled upon as we embarked on a journey to create a sensory-friendly haven for my son, Jacob. From thrilling riding trails to a peaceful pier by the river, this new chapter is not just about a change in scenery, but a much-needed shift towards hope and comfort for our family. Join us as we navigate the emotions of this monumental move and the relief of providing Jacob with the freedom to explore safely, away from the hazards of noise and traffic.

The journey of caring for a child with special needs is undeniably demanding, and sometimes, stepping back is essential. We open up about the mixed emotions of taking a month-long respite while Jacob stayed with his grandparents. This break was a double-edged sword, providing time to set up a superhero-themed room in our new home, but also fueling worries about Jacob's safety due to some unsettling social media posts. Discover how we managed the logistics of reuniting with Jacob and the challenges that come with balancing caregiver stress with ensuring his well-being.

Parenting a child with severe autism is a rollercoaster of emotions and learning experiences. We delve into the complexities of communication and emotional expression, sharing humorous anecdotes like teaching Jacob how to eat soup. The episode touches on family dynamics, including Jacob's interactions with his father, and offers insights into how "earthing" practices help both Jacob and us as caregivers. Plus, we're inviting you to join the conversation—submit your questions for an upcoming interview with Jacob's father, who brings nearly two decades of experience to share. It's a candid exploration of resilience, understanding, and the unique beauty of parenting a child with severe autism.

Chapters

• 0:18 Supporting the Parenting Severe Autism Podcast
• 8:30 Understanding the Importance of Breaks
• 19:42 Reconnecting With Nature for Autism
• 24:03 Challenges With Communication and Coping
• 31:10 Parenting a Child With Severe Autism

Transcript

Shannon Chamberlin: 0:18

Hello and welcome to the Parenting Severe Autism Podcast. I am your Sh., . I'm so happy that you're here with me today. I had a couple of inquiries, so I need to make sure to mention that if you would like to support this podcast, I have several different avenues set up for that. I have four low-cost subscription tiers, which are located on my Buzzsprout website. You'll find the link on every episode. I also have a Buy Me a Coffee program. So for as little as $1 and all the way up to I don't know as many coffees as you want to buy, you can do that for us. I also have a merchandise website. So I would say that if you are not a caregiver, but maybe you love a caregiver and you see them struggling and going through the things that we go through and you just happen to listen to this podcast, you should check it out, maybe if you're looking for some kind of unique severe autism caregiver gift. My messages are heartfelt. I didn't make a lot of different messages. If you have someone that you love who you want to give them a reminder that you support them by buying them one of these gifts. They're pretty cool.

Shannon Chamberlin: 1:22

I've got phone cases and phone accessories. I've got little wine tumblers, coffee mugs, water bottles, screaming pillows Some people call them throw pillows. I've got some tote bags, hoodies, t-shirts. I think my favorite is the coffee cups, not only because I love coffee, but I think the message is really nice. On one side of the coffee mug you'll see the Parenting Severe Autism podcast logo and on the other side it says Dear Mama or Dear Caregiver, grandma, dad, whatever you choose. So let's just say Mama. It says Dear Mama, you didn't fail. It's part of severe autism. You're welcome. And then a little heart heart. That means the most to me. That is my constant reminder and, to be honest, when I see the logo for my own podcast about this subject that I know reaches hundreds of people already and has helped people in their daily lives struggling as caregivers for severe autism individuals, that cup just makes me happy. Just to see the logo somewhere else besides on my screen, you know, and that message is just so meaningful to me. I think that is my favorite product.

Shannon Chamberlin: 2:33

I've got a couple other little messages on other items, so if you ever have time, take a look over there and see if there's anything you like. The link for all of my merch is listed on each episode, I think near the bottom, when it's on my Buzzsprout site. I'm not exactly sure how it shows up on everything else, but I know if you hit the little heart that says support, that should take you to several of the options available to contribute to the podcast, and you can also navigate your way to the website where I sell this merch for the podcast. Navigate your way to the website where I sell this merch for the podcast and any of these ways that you do support this podcast. Part of it goes to support the podcast and help keep it running. Another portion of the proceeds is going into a savings account to eventually be able to help severe autism families in need who may not have made it onto or off of a waiting list to get sensory items or other specific needs for their loved one. We all really appreciate your support. Thank you so much.

Shannon Chamberlin: 3:31

Now, in this episode, I'm starting off with a brand new adventure and it's not going to take long to get through. I'm going to keep the stories short because they are a little heavy for me and they're a little bit painful for me to relive, but I also want to keep you updated with new developments in our current lives as well. So I'm trying to create a nice little balance. I'm going to start out with moving from the one house to the next house. Okay, that's where we left off.

Shannon Chamberlin: 3:59

We were in that one house for about a year. They sold it. The school wasn't doing right by my son and I was frantically searching for spy camps. That's where we left off. So the house that we found, I thought she said it was 15 acres and I thought, oh well, that's nice. And it turns out when we went to see the place it was 50 acres, 5-0. It had riding trails. It was 50 wooded acres. It had access to a river that went by the house. We had our own little pier right there. It was amazing.

Shannon Chamberlin: 4:31

It was a dream for someone like Jacob, who has no awareness of what's going on around him, does not have any fear of cars or anything dangerous that can kill him. This was a dream come true. We instantly felt safe. If he wanted to run or do something ridiculous, he didn't have to worry about these cars and traffic, high traffic areas and stuff like that. We were way out. There was no one else past our driveway. Our driveway was private. It was really safe when we lived at the other house on that 12 acres, we had a long strip of yard and he got so good at running. He's always loved running, but he got really fast. That was the first time back in like 2011 or 2012, when Jacob outran his dad. For the first time ever it was. It was quite amazing. Later on in life that would become detrimental, but at the time it was just amazing.

Shannon Chamberlin: 5:26

So we ended up moving to a 50-acre home, plenty of room inside. We figured it would be appreciated by Jacob because of his sensory needs. He wouldn't have all the neighbors around screaming. He didn't have cows mooing all night long and stuff like that. We thought that he would really appreciate having places where he could go and just do his own thing in the yard. The yard was huge and he could have found any place to sit and just be in his own little bubble. We just thought this is, this is fantastic.

Shannon Chamberlin: 5:55

So the thing is, the people who were moving out weren't moving out for another two and a half weeks from when we had to be out of the house we were living in. They were kind enough to allow us to put everything we could in one bedroom of this house and then they let us use another room as well. We have two rooms of this house. We're leaving our stuff with these total strangers. We take our whole family and go down to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Right, we stayed here. That's where we are now.

Shannon Chamberlin: 6:25

So we stayed here for about a week getting calibrated and making sure everything was set, and we got all of Jacob's food cooked, pre-cooked and provisions made. We got all of his pizzas so that he could have one pizza a week. We were pretty convinced that the grandparents were ready to have a good time with him. They missed him and they wanted to spend a month with him, having fun with him. I can't remember if the swimming pool was still working at that time. I know when they finally did fill it in, we were pretty upset because that was really the only draw for Jacob to come here.

Shannon Chamberlin: 7:03

As you know, the bonds and relationships and connections with humans are not always reliable for our kids, but he does love swimming and he knows exactly what he wants. At every house he goes to. Whether you have video games, movies, something that he really likes to play with like a Beanie Baby room, or if you have a pool, he goes to your house with an intention. He's not necessarily there to hang out with you, but you better be available for him when he's ready to demand affection. That's kind of the way he works. We got him all set up. Everything was great. I pre-cooked so much food All they had to do was heat it up in cookware that we supplied them, because he's not allowed to eat microwaved food. We're just like that. We don't do those things. That was our business, you know. So we get him all set up. We're not worried at all. As long as they can follow directions that are written out on paper, they can take care of him and keep him happy.

Shannon Chamberlin: 8:00

We figured that they already knew the human interaction part was going to be necessary, because he never did really grow up past five years old, so he's always baby Jacob to everybody, and we were convinced that they were going to have a great time. So my spouse and I went camping for a week in Tennessee and it was great. We were tent camping and it was phenomenal. We had such a great time. I think that was around 2012. And that was the last time the two of us had a real vacation.

Shannon Chamberlin: 8:30

So it's been 12 years since we've had a break, and you might not know we didn't know until way, way after this that caregivers and parents of special needs kiddos, it's recommended that we take a vacation every six months. Did you know that? I didn't know that. I didn't know that at the time of this story either, so I'm not going to harp on it, but it's important to make sure that, if you can, you do take some time to yourself somehow every six months, even every three months, depending. I mean, I know a lot of your kiddos deal with much more than just severe autism. I think the more you have piled on you as a caregiver to watch your child suffer and then suffer with them and sometimes at their hands, I think you need a vacation as much as possible. So I'm no expert, but try to take your breaks when you can.

Shannon Chamberlin: 9:20

So, anyway, we're camping, we come back, we stay for another day or two to make sure everything's okay and Jacob says yes, he wants to stay. And thank God, because we had a lot of cleaning to do. We cleaned the house that we moved into for a week straight and it was the hottest week that we've ever spent in Wisconsin ever I mean ever. We were there for a long time ever, and this house has no air conditioning. It's a country home. The house wasn't ready for Jacob, so if he wanted to come home we would have let him, but it would have been a lot harder on everybody because his room was its own project. We decked it out. His dad went nuts, making it superhero friendly. It was completely 100% custom done for Jacob. We were very grateful to have the time of him being away and not being so needy so that we could devote our time and energy to this project. But the house was filthy and Jacob was out there just having a great time with Mamaw and Papaw. We checked in frequently and everything was fine. He stayed for a total of one month. So when he comes home he sees that we are home. This is it. We're not moving, we're out of the boxes because the poor kid had to see us all live with all of our stuff in boxes, everything.

Shannon Chamberlin: 10:37

And I occasionally would check Facebook and I saw some posts that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. They put me on high alert. They were a little confusing. You couldn't really tell. I mean, you can't jump to conclusions with everything you see on somebody's Facebook post, you know, but I was trying to investigate because I saw some things that didn't add up and there are just certain people and places that Jacob should not be around and I started seeing evidence of him possibly being around these people and places without us being told or asked. It just coincided with the timing of when we would find out that, oh, grandma was taking him somewhere, grandma and sissy were taking him to a park or whatever. So the stories that we were getting were not adding up with these Facebook posts I was seeing, but the timing was, but the pictures were not matching the activities that we were told would happen. So I didn't get too mad right away, I just thought well, you know, the thing is, it was his mom who had already signed her rights away.

Shannon Chamberlin: 11:57

While we were in the Rockford area, we made sure all of this was done. We told the family that it was done, and this went on for another two or three years, from the time we got full custody of Jacob to the time that the family finally allowed us to have full custody of Jacob. It was really maddening because we let everybody know and then, every year that we would come here to visit the family for holidays, the half-siblings would start throwing a fit because they want to have all their whole family together and all of them have the same mom. The lifestyle that she leads is the reason the judge had no problem giving primary custody to my spouse in the first place, and it is the same lifestyle that she refused to give up and still leads to this day. And we didn't want Jacob in that position. It is not safe for him. Even the courts knew it wasn't safe for him. So why would we want two kids who have no idea what's good and bad, obviously, to bring him over to a situation that's not safe Anyhow? I know that's off track, but it kind of is all related at the same time.

Shannon Chamberlin: 13:05

So that was the scene that I was seeing on Facebook while we were eight hours away at our home getting it ready for our son and there's no proof of anything one way or the other. And every time we checked in we never got the story that, oh, we're gonna take him over to a place that you have said no, don't ever take him over to. You know. We started seeing that kind of stuff and it went on and on A few days in a row I kept noticing that man. I swear that that's not where he's supposed to be, but I see him in the picture, so it was that kind of thing, but no one would come clean about it, so that happened while he was there.

Shannon Chamberlin: 13:41

I just had to lay that groundwork real quick and move on to this other thing where, when the month was finally over and I hate to say it, but I really enjoyed that month I really really enjoyed that month because I was always the one home with him ever since we started all of the days off of school, everything, it was really just me and him. And look, I never wanted kids, I never wanted to be a caregiver, but I was a caregiver for everyone all my life. So it was really nice to not have to take care of another individual for a whole month. And I did not miss being a mom. I'll tell you that right now. I'm just being honest. I didn't miss it at all.

Shannon Chamberlin: 14:24

However, when we went to pick him up, they met us halfway. This is how we usually would do an exchange, because it's an eight-hour drive. They meet us halfway, we meet up with my spouse's mom and her sister and they have Jacob in the van and we're in some parking lot of a hotel or gas station. We all get out, we say our nicey-niceys and he hugs his dad, you know, oh, yay, jacob's home, jacob's here, yeah, we're going to go see our new house. And he was cool.

Shannon Chamberlin: 14:52

And then he got to me and I gave him a hug and he collapsed on me and just started sobbing and I felt horrible. I'm like what is going on? What's wrong with my boy, you know? And then I then I realized well, maybe I did miss him, you know, but this kid was sobbing, he could not hold himself together. It was really terrible. The two women, they're really alien-ish anyway. I mean, they don't ever, ever, ever show emotion to their own family. So I had no reading on them at all. None of us could really figure out why he was so sad and they didn't even seem that bothered by it. They were like, oh, it made us question.

Shannon Chamberlin: 15:36

Obviously we couldn't talk about it the whole ride home, but we were both sitting there in our heads questioning what the fuck just happened, what happened to this boy. He was there for an entire month. We checked on him all the time and we never heard this. My spouse would ask are you ready to come home? And he would say no, and I really cringed every time he did that, because I mean, it's eight hours, dude, why are you putting that out there? But it's nice to know, I mean, because he can't really put his thoughts together, so you have to throw him a bone, right? So he would ask him that and he would say, no, stay with papa, or whatever.

Shannon Chamberlin: 16:11

So we had no idea he was feeling this way and I didn't know. I was like is it just the mom thing, or is it food? What happened? Because these people, they don't cook the way I do and he loves my food, you know how it is, but I made all the food. So I just couldn't figure out. But, like I said, he's so food motivated and all I could think of was well, everybody loves him. He's always cuddling on his whole family when they're around, so it has to be the food. You know, he doesn't seem to like me that much. I mean, I didn't expect at the time that he would be sobbing because he missed me. You know, I'm the hard ass and I'm the one that holds him to expectations and stuff and I just I don't know. I never figured that that sobbing was going to be because of my absence. You know what I mean. Just like when I met these guys and his dad said if I was gone tomorrow, jake would be fine. He wouldn't really know the difference and I thought that was really sad. So that's one reason I started working with Jacob on daddy recognition and that's why, to this day, I still call him daddy. Anyway, sorry, there's a lot going on here.

Shannon Chamberlin: 17:15

Okay, so we started to learn, over the next four to six weeks, little pieces of the puzzle that we didn't know about. That may have contributed to the breakdown that he had when we picked him up. Once we had him home, we started getting more answers, but they were from him. We kept probing the family, asking questions, because clearly they saw that something was wrong and they knew they had to have known that. We were not going to drop that. We were just not going to stop investigating his sorrow because he doesn't have a voice, hello. So we had a fire pit there. So we would have family fires and try to get Jacob out in nature and I would make just little fire food and we would get him out there in his little blanket.

Shannon Chamberlin: 17:59

So one day, somehow, I think, the two of us found out that Mama the grandmother didn't take off all the time that we expected she was supposed to to spend time with baby Jacob. That means that she worked third shift. She slept all day and we thought she was either taking time off or she was going to be not sleeping all day. On the days she didn't take off and spending more time with Jacob. Well, it turns out that he was basically with his grandfather all day. Every day the grandfather sleeps in his chair, doesn't like to be interrupted, watching his TV shows. That he's seen a million times over the last 40 years in that stupid chair. Because he retired really early and he doesn't give much attention to cooking or caring for children, he was never around for the baby stage of my spouse and his brother. So, you know, not a really great time for our son, especially if that pool wasn't working. But that was one thing. He was neglected by both grandparents. One didn't show up and the other one didn't get up. And then we found out that grandfather was also the one cooking the meals for him and deciding what he was going to eat. Cooking the meals for him and deciding what he was going to eat, and even though we bought enough pizzas to go have a one pizza night a week for the month. He basically fed him those pizzas every day in a row for however long that took. He could eat a whole one or he could eat a half one. I don't know how it went, but how do I know that it's because my son didn't want to eat pizza for months. He didn't want anything to do with pizza. So I know there was a bad experience about pizza while he was there Another night at the fire.

Shannon Chamberlin: 19:42

I may have mentioned this a long time ago, but this is all part of it. He said something about sissy and mommy. We always try to be at least expressionless or show a smile and let him know it's okay to talk about it. So he said something about Sissy and Mommy and Jacob and I think Bubba, which is the half-brother. Okay, and this was like four weeks, three or four weeks after we had brought him home. It takes a long time for him to blurt out words and this is all piecing together. He can only say two or three words at the time and that's how you get your stories out of this kid. So he had said something about those three.

Shannon Chamberlin: 20:19

He had said something about a house. He had said something about dinner and I showed him the house, what I saw on Facebook. I said is that a house that you went to? And he said, yes, mommy's house. Uh-huh, okay, who's with Jacob at mommy's house? And he said sissy, we just kept going on with questions. I showed him another picture. Who's in this picture? And they were never really pictured together, but I mean, it's not hard to figure out, right? So I said who's in this picture? And he named everyone that was there that day. They don't have to be in the picture. He'll associate the entire experience with that picture and he'll tell you everything he can think of, because that's just what he wants to do. Right, just get it all out of there. So it turns out, sissy borrowed Mama's car and put Jacob in it and drove him over to Mommy's house, who leads the lifestyle that Jacob is not allowed to be around. They took pictures and mommy made dinner, which was get this meatloaf, carrots and salad. I had never made meatloaf for Jacob yet, so there's that I also. I never really made Jacob eat salad, so that was not something he pulled from his life experience with me or his dad. So that was interesting.

Shannon Chamberlin: 21:36

And then we had to confront the family. Oh, I'm sorry. Also, it came out that Sissy told Jacob, don't tell your dad, it's a secret, don't tell your dad. Somehow I got that out of him too and I was astonished and his dad was right there, so I didn't have to feel like I had to prove it or anything. We had to start questioning the family. They denied it, denied it, denied it, and then finally they admitted it, because then they were like, well, what's wrong with that? It's his mom. And we were like, okay, again, she just hurts him every time she sees him. She signed papers. They said, well, who says that? And I said the judge said, really. So yeah, it was really nice and I don't want anyone around my kid. Who's going to tell the kid, who doesn't really have a voice, to keep secrets from the only two. And thank God she ended up letting him down and you know we're still here, we're still the ones that care, because you can't let people tell your kid not to tell you stuff when they can barely tell you anything and you're their only advocate. It doesn't work like that. That was the beginning, the first under six months of our new home, living on 50 acres in paradise and that was what we were facing at the time with our son.

Shannon Chamberlin: 23:06

A little update on recent things. We've been earthing a lot lately over the past few months, which is you just take your socks and shoes off and put your bare feet on the earth, or as much of your body as you can on the earth. My spouse has been sleeping better ever since the first night. He did it. Every night that he puts his feet on the earth he sleeps really good and our son, I think, is sleeping better. Our son's energy has been evened out. Every day that he puts his feet on the earth he seems like he's more on an even keel, and on the days that he does not, you can definitely tell that he's back to the regular or the normal for his behavior. So I think there might be something to that. I mean, obviously there is something to that, but I mean for autism specifically and for caregivers stress levels specifically, I think it's a good idea. So if you can get out into some nice fresh grass or moss, give it a shot, see how you like it, bond with the earth like that.

Shannon Chamberlin: 24:03

A couple things I want to just share with you here. There's a show called Blippi and this is his new favorite thing. I'll have to try to post my videos of him. I've taken two videos so far of when he is watching Blippi. I'll have to try to see if I can put him on the Facebook page for this podcast. It's the only thing I've ever seen other than the Mellow Psychedelic Journey video on YouTube with the music and the lava lamp stuff. This is the only thing that compares to it.

Shannon Chamberlin: 24:30

He is silent and fixated on the television the whole time that this Blippi character is doing his thing and the one episode he's hooked on is a food episode. I don't know if they're all food I don't think they are, but it's cute because he's my little foodie anyway. You know he's kind of a product of my foodiness and he's stuck on this foodie show from this guy named Blippi. Have you heard of this? How does your kid like this? And if you haven't heard of it, can you check it out? I think it's a Disney Plus or something like that, but he just is so silent and fixated on this character. It's really nice to have him go and watch this show when he wants to be around me, but I need him to be quiet because I got work to do and he'll just sit right next to me and watch this blippy. He loves it.

Shannon Chamberlin: 25:18

The other day he came down and keeps saying I want to go home and I'm sad. And a lot of times we have to say like this is our home right now, this is our home, and it's just really a weird thing for him to say. But he keeps saying it. When he starts getting really agitated and to where we just can't deal with him anymore, he can barely deal with himself. It seems like, and he can't deal with us dealing with him, he'll say things like I want to go home and then he'll say I'm sad and he'll waver between angry and sad, angry and sad. And then if you ask why or whatever, he'll just say because of, because of, because of, and then he'll say Spider-Man or something like that. So he doesn't have the rest of the sentence or the rest of the thought pattern for that. But we keep trying.

Shannon Chamberlin: 26:05

The other day he was really freaking out again in the morning. He wouldn't calm down long enough to even answer his dad's questions or let him finish asking a question, and I know that he knew what he was asking. He just wouldn't cooperate and we were just trying to find out what was wrong. So I have a little stuffed animal, it's a sloth. He likes to come down and hold him, sometimes while he sits here and watches TV. So I gave him the sloth and I asked him would you like to tell Mr Sloth what's wrong with you, why are you feeling sad or angry or whatever? And so we let him talk to the sloth and he ended up just hugging it. But sometimes he can yell at the sloth and you know he'll stand there and he'll point his finger and he'll mimic yelling just with a high whisper voice. And you can at least extract the syllables to see what they sound like, because they're usually going to be related to mama or papa or dad or Shannon doll.

Shannon Chamberlin: 27:00

We tried that but that didn't work. But he did say I'm all alone. And that's a hard one to argue with. You know, we try to get him to be happy and we try to show him that you know you have everything, you even have servants. What's wrong? Why are you so depressed? You know you have us giving you the world on a silver platter all day, every day. I know there's a lot, you know, but on the surface why are you sad? What is the deal? You're well taken care of, you're loved, you're provided for, you're safe, you're warm what the fuck? But he did say I'm alone, and every once in a while he'll pull that card out and there's just no way to argue with that. You know, yeah, you are alone. You're in your head. No one's in there with you. You can't get out. We don't like hanging out with you all the time. You're too demanding of us, so we have to go our own way. We have to live life. We have to make money to support you. You have no friends. There's no one who can babysit you. The guy who hangs out with you, as your papa, is barely there. Yeah, you're alone. I don't know what to say to that. It's just heartbreaking and I know he feels it all the time. Every once in a while he'll say it.

Shannon Chamberlin: 28:12

And then there was this weird thing that happened the other day. So I was making him tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich and the first time I ever saw him eat soup, I gave it to him and I thought he had had soup before. I was pretty sure we had taken him to have soup in other places, like I think we went to medieval times. However, they don't give you spoons at medieval times. So there's that. But I took it for granted that he knew how to eat soup and obviously he's not good at holding silverware and stuff. But back when he was like nine, I gave him soup and he put his whole hand in there in the bowl. I was horrified. That was how he. I gave him a spoon, I put it in the bowl and he just put his whole hand in there and starts feeding himself from his hand, and I have since taught him how to eat soup. So I needed a spoon to get the pan scraped. So I asked him will you get me a spoon? And it's two feet away from me and he says yes, okay.

Shannon Chamberlin: 29:04

He opens the drawer and he stares at it and I can see from where I'm standing that it's full of silverware, absolutely full. And he stares at it for a minute and he says I'm sorry, there's no spoon here, and I was like it. And he says I'm sorry there's no spoon here and I was like, uh, just give me a big one. Then he looks at the tablespoon and then grabs the teaspoon and basically almost gives it to me. And when I went to grab it, he took it away and put it back and closed the drawer and starts to walk away. I'm like give it to me. What is that? He does that to me a lot, a lot Like he. Just I think he hates doing what I ask him to do, no matter how nice or how strict I am about it. I think he just likes messing with me and we all know that I am his toy. But you know, I'm standing there with a hot pot and I'm trying to scrape it. I, you can at least use your better judgment. Hot pot and I'm trying to scrape it. You can at least use your better judgment. Anyway, so that's my story today, and as I'm recording this, it is election day.

Shannon Chamberlin: 30:04

Tensions are high and my son has been feeling it. There was a it was eclipse season, as they say recently, and this whole new moon thing that has been happening that I think is over as of yesterday was terrible. Usually he's a full moon crazy, but this time he's been a full moon all the way to new moon crazy and it has really been quite a ride. He's back to having to take baths at eight o'clock in the morning, and then again in the afternoon and sometimes again at night. There's just no other way to keep him calm and keep him under control. He's starting to punch himself in. Keep him calm and keep him under control. He's starting to punch himself in the head more and more.

Shannon Chamberlin: 30:41

We're still having trouble getting his prescriptions filled because the doctor is still out of the country or whatever, and it is a nerve wracking time for us right now with all the hostility everywhere. And he picks up on that. Plus, the weather has been terrible and when the weather is bad he's bad and it's just been ugh, it's just been crappy all the way around. But then he'll turn around after I get him good and high with his cannabis. He'll just be so happy.

Shannon Chamberlin: 31:10

And I've been trying to get him to understand for years that you know you come down here and abuse me and abuse yourself, and then you fight with your dad and you do this for two hours until you finally allow yourself enough time to breathe and realize that the medicine is doing pretty damn good for you. Now, all of a sudden you're happy, you want to be lovey and happy and funny and dance and sing and shit, and we're still over here licking our wounds. You know it doesn't work that way. And all he just keeps saying sorry, sorry, sorry. And then I keep trying to explain to him what's going on and how you can't treat people like that. And then you know if he's high enough he won't get mad. If he's not high enough, he gets mad at me all over again.

Shannon Chamberlin: 31:56

So my next episode is going to be more on how severe began to rear its ugly head in our autism world. There are so many stories I really can't tell you which one is coming up next. It's a lot of digging deep for me, so please excuse me while I work through these things again, I kind of have to relive everything. It's a little bit hard. I've also been talking with his dad. His dad really wants to do the dad episode.

Shannon Chamberlin: 32:25

So if you guys have any questions about the early years or about you know, anything to do with fathering a child with severe autism from babyhood and into adulthood he's 23 now. You know he's getting ready to be 24 in December. So really he was diagnosed, I believe, at five, perhaps just about 19 years of experience with dad, you know, and I've got lots of questions to ask him as well. But if you have anything that you are wondering about. Please send me an email at contactparentingsevereautism at gmailcom. You can also send me a text on my Buzzsprout website.

Shannon Chamberlin: 33:06

On each episode, there's a way to send me fan mail, and I think that comes across as a text. You can also send me messages on my Facebook page not Messenger so much, but the page itself, and then also on the Buy Me a Coffee or the subscription page. You can leave notes on there as well, I believe. So if you have any questions that you want me to include, please send them over to me. Over the next couple of weeks. I'll be interviewing him, hopefully within the next month or so. I'm thinking about you guys out there all the time. I hope everything's going well for you. You hang in there. You're a superhero.